Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What are you trying to say?

This is a passive aggressive rant about passive aggressive rants. It's not addressed at any one person in particular, and I don't care if it sounds hypocritical. If you have something to say, say it. I'm baring my troubled soul, don't read further if you don't want to hear some cold, hard opinions.

Goodness knows I hate confrontation -- nobody hates emotional confrontation as much as I do! When faced with such an encounter I experience a high level of stress and anxiety, particularly when emotions are concerned. It's not as much of an issue in a professional setting, because in a professional setting no confrontation is (or should be) personal. It's logical, it's practical, it's business. But everything in your personal life is personal, if it wasn't it wouldn't be there. I avoid potential encounters and the anxiety that accompanies them. I'm not good at coping with it.  

This flaw in my personality has lead to a tendency toward passive aggression. I'm a note leaver, door slammer, sarcasm speaker, under my breath talker, eye roller, rant writer, and occasional pushover when I feel like it is really just not worth the confrontation. Very few things in my personal life are worth that price. I buy things I don't want to buy, I go places I don't want to go, I have even dated people I didn't really want to date. It's a problem, but one I'm trying to deal with.

Nobody likes to disappoint others, nobody wants to be a jerk, but I've never really found a way to separate feeling like a jerk from telling someone no. Society grooms us to feel that way. I shouldn't have to apologize for my opinions, my preferences, or my disinterest.... but I feel like I should. 

But even greater than I my loathing of confrontation is my abhorrence of the passive aggressive Facebook post. You know the one I mean, the one that's directed at someone in particular, or everyone in particular. If you have something to say to me, say it to ME. Don't post it to me and all the rest of the world. Even I am too much of an adult for that crap. 

They say communication is only like 7% the words you actually speak, and the rest is tone and body language. I think that's partially why I prefer not to say what I feel, I feel like I shouldn't have to. I remember a quote that I've always liked:

 Silence is as deep as eternity, speech a shallow as time. - Thomas Carlyle

That's what I hate about common speech, you often say things you don't mean (or mean 7%), and things that you mean only temporarily. Moreover, once you speak a word it's out there in the universe forever, you can never really take it back. It's a frightening thought, isn't it? Or am I the only one troubled by such a commitment? 

So if what you are saying is irretractable, shouldn't you be even more careful about what you write, and especially careful about what you post on the internet? As entertaining as your soap opera of wrongs and opinions is, wouldn't it be more effective to communicate those wrongs and opinions to the person who can actually do something about them? What are you trying to accomplish by airing that crap on social media? Notoriety? Sympathy? You're acting like a juvenile and you look like a jackass. Grow up.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

You're pretty ok

It's a well established fact that we Dobbins's are not an overly affectionate people. It's not that we don't love each other -- we just don't like to talk about it. In fact, Dobbins for "I love you" is usually something like "You're a dork" or "You're stupid". So with it being Valentine's Day today and the expression of love being in the forefront of everyone's mind, I got to thinking how different Valentine's Day would be if it was run by people like me, people who prefer to wrap their expressions of affection in cozy layers of humour and sarcasm.

Greeting cards would definitely still be a thing, because I am more likely to write something sensitive that speak it with my mouth (I just got really uncomfortable even thinking about doing that). Maybe we would keep it simple by just having conversation hearts instead. They would, of course, downplay emotion and would have messages like:


"You're pretty ok"

"I kind of like you"

"You're pretty cool"

"Kind of awesome"

"Not too shabby"

"Let's be pals"

"That's not bad"


Instead of sending loved ones beautiful, but essentially useless gifts like flowers and jewelry we would send them practical but enjoyable things like books, or iTunes gift cards, or things from each other's Amazon wish lists (we might even call it Amazon Day).

We would never watch Nicholas Spark's movies. We would outlaw public displays of affection (because of their tendency to make other people uncomfortable). We would celebrate in families and groups instead of pairs. It would be pretty cool.

Anyway, this post marks a little over a year that I've been blogging and I really appreciate all of you who read this thing. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Thanks! You guys are dorks!






Wednesday, February 6, 2013

True Love - A Valentine's Post

In this life, if you're lucky, you may find one love that defines all others. A love that multiplies whatever you put into it. A love that never lets you down. A love that will stand the test of time. For most women that love may be a man, for me it's a website.

Oh how I love my Amazon.com!

My Amazon is a rock of consistency and dependability in the shifting sands of faulty fulfillment and crass customer service. My Amazon is a light of assurance in the uncertain mists of online shopping.

I'll admit it started as a flirtation, just casual browsing. I'd heard about Amazon.com
and I didn't think it was my type of shopping. I always liked to see things before I bought them and I hated to wait for things to ship to me, but eventually I tried it for one order. I didn't really have a choice, since I couldn't find the item I was looking for locally.

It was a easy, it was convenient, it was fun. Amazon made shopping so attractive that I couldn't help myself. I made another order, and another. They had everything I needed. They made my life easier, I'd never been happier with my shopping experience.

It's difficult to say when exactly I knew I was in love. I used Amazon for a few years before upgrading to Prime, but once I did I knew that it was forever. I was committed, and I didn't want to shop anywhere else.

Amazon knows me better than almost anyone else. He remembers everything I buy, everything I wish for. It's an ideal relationship, and probably the longest romance of my life (six years and counting).

I'm not saying that our relationship hasn't had it's ups and downs. It hasn't always been perfect. A few times there have been problems with my orders or products, but each time my Amazon.com was able to regain my faith and make everything right. Overcoming those problems has only made my love and devotion stronger because I know that I am as important to Amazon as Amazon is to me. If that isn't true love, what is?