A crucial dating tip for "nice guys".

I know that I dispense a presumptuous amount of dating and relationship advice for someone who always has unsuccessful relationships, but there's something that's been bugging me and I've just got vent it out. I am sick and tired of hearing guys complain about girls not liking "nice guys". Please! Really? You really think women don't want to date you because you're too nice? Keep reading.

I promise, the majority of women are not turning away fun, attractive men for being "too nice". I promise, that's not what's happening. Of course, if being "nice" is ALL you've got going for you, then you may have a challenge. If that's the case then I don't think you can expect any more success than girls who are "really sweet" but otherwise unattractive. You see, it's a two way street - neither gender wants to date someone they are not attracted to, but no one wants to look like a jerk by saying so. Being "too nice" is just a "nice" way to reject someone. You have to admit - it does sound better than telling someone they are repulsive. You could be the nicest guy in the world, but if I don't want to kiss you then our romantic future is bleak.

Of course attraction isn't always the reason that a girl doesn't want to date you. You really don't have to be a male model to attract a girl. If you are charming and personable you will do more than well for yourself in the dating scene.

The real problem here is that we use the word "nice" to cover all positive interpersonal traits. Think about it - kind, considerate, friendly, helpful, understanding, attentive, etc. - nice is not only synonymous with all of them, we use (or misuse) it to mean all of those things at the same time! After all, a person can be kind without being attentive. A person can be friendly without being understanding. The other thing to consider is that even though these are all viewed as positive qualities - positive is relative. What some people like, other people hate. What some people value, others abhor.

If a girl doesn't want to date you because you are "too nice" she might actually just not want to date you because you are too attentive (clingy), or too accommodating (doormat) - she may like all your other "nice" qualities. However, she will be afraid of telling you she finds this unattractive because she doesn't want to be the jerk. Instead she'll probably let you believe you are "too nice" or "too good". It's a cop out.

Trust me, nobody is going to break up with you for being too great. You might be too much of a lot of things, but nice is not one of hem. So nice guys- don't be deceived by the politeness of the women rejecting you. Keep being nice, but try to be more than that if you possibly can. 

A final thought.

Being Single is AMAZING

Love. Isn't love great? We dream about it, we sing about it, we search for it, we wait for it, and (if all those songs and movies and annoying proverbs are to be believed) we aren't complete without it. Although, as someone who could probably be single professionally, I have to say I don't feel all that incomplete. Heck, I'd even go as far as to say I'm a whole person!! 

It is easy though, to feel like there's something wrong with you when everyone around is happily coupled. Yes, it can sure get you down, but there's no need for that! Sure, being coupled is grand - but it has its drawbacks (in relationships they call them "compromises"). It's time to open your eyes to some of benefits of being single, childless, and blissfully alone.

Reasons why being single is AWESOME:

• You can watch whatever TV shows or listen to whatever music you want!

We all think that when we find that special someone they are going to like all the same stuff that we like. Our minds are filled with rose colored images of us road tripping with our honey to our favourite tunes, or snuggled-up eternally to the all the same shows on Netflix. In reality, those fantasies are nuts!! The odds of you and your one and only enjoying all the same shows are laughable. What's far more likely is you mentally punching yourself in the face through Dumb and Dumber and him complaining all the way through Pride and Prejudice. Sooner or later you may have to endure that, but for now relish the opportunity of never having to watch something you don't enjoy and watching as much Hart of Dixie as your heart desires completely judgment free.

• The. best. sleep. of. your. life.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get any decent sleep with someone else in the bed with you? They throw off the sleep temperature, they hog the covers, they make you feel bad if you toss and turn. They like to watch TV until they doze off, even though you can't close your eyes when the TV is on, or vice versa. And if you marry a snorer you can just forget about ever feeling well rested again. Seriously, you will find yourself fantasizing about holding a pillow over their head... just until the noise stops... just until you can hear yourself think again. So sleep up now, enjoy the luxury of spreading out, or hogging the covers while you can.

• It's your money (or time/hair/clothes - fill in your own noun) and you want it now!!

You work hard for your money and you want to spend it the way you feel like spending it. When you settle down with that special someone your stuff (including your money) is no longer just yours or theirs, meaning they get a say in whatever you buy. Right now if you want to blow $150 on Amazon.com in a moment of distress it's nobody's business but your own.

• More time for your friends.

You know how you can tell when your friends are dating someone? They suddenly drop off the face of the Earth. You do the same thing when you get in a relationship. You blow off your friends and all of your time is consumed by your other half. It's annoying. Well you are annoying no more, because you are blissfully single. You have all the time in the world to hang with your peeps and have a good time.

• Secret crushes, first kisses, and the excitement of new romance.

Love is great, it really is. And when you see tiny old people holding hands and still happily together after like a hundred years, your heart just melts. Loving, committed relationships are sweet, and safe, and comfortable, like an old sweater. Comfort is a great thing, but let's not undersell the excitement of something *NEW*. The beginning stages of a relationship are often the most exciting. Like when you are crushing, (ooooooh I LOVE the crush stage) where you aren't quite sure if they like you too and you get excited every time they walk your way or your phone buzzes in case it's finally them asking you out. So many exciting firsts - the first time they smile at you, the first date, the first kiss. Enjoy those firsts while you can, because sooner or later you will be experiencing your last first kiss.

The list goes on and on.... Seriously, we singles have a lot going for us! Sure, you couples have the kids, and the Valentine's flowers, and the holiday engagements, but we aren't too bitter about it. Sometime we'll probably get tied down too, so in the meantime we will make the most of what singledom (singlehood? singleness?) has to offer.