5 Reasons Why Cemeteries Are Better Than Parks

Maybe it's my lack of social skills, or maybe it's my jerky attitude, but I think I found my new summer hang out - the cemetery. For most people the park may seem like the obvious choice for summer fun, but I can tell you right now that cemeteries have parks beat in almost every possible way. Here are 5 off the top of my head:

• Peace and quiet. Have you ever tried to relax at a park in the summer? It's nearly impossible because in the summer parks are always crowded. Unless the weather is terrible you pretty never have the park to yourself. Cemeteries, on the other hand, are very rarely busy (a couple holidays out of the year) and are incredibly restful. There's something about death that makes reflection on life so much easier. The birds chirp just as much at the cemetery as at the park, the sky is just as blue, and sun is just as warm, but you can have it all to yourself.

• No kids. If you have read any of my other posts then you should know by now that pretty much any environment is improved by the absence of bratty, unattended children screaming and touching everything. Fortunately, you rarely encounter  unsupervised children at a cemetery. They don't like to play there a lot. If they are at a cemetery their parent's keep them on a tight leash, and they don't hang around for long. For some reason, the cemetery is not a hot spot for family night...

• No dogs. I love dogs, but sometimes I hate their owners. Some dog owners don't seem to understand that a park is a shared area and it's common courtesy to pick up after your pet, or keep it from eating other people's picnics. You never see dogs roaming around the cemetery, you never step in their little "surprises". 

• No litter. I know that we pay taxes for the upkeep of city parks, but the city can't keep up with the sloppy, thoughtless d-bags who are always littering the place up. Honestly, people are SO LAZY. Lazy people use the park, but they are too lazy to visit the cemetery. Which means the rest of us can enjoy the cemetery's well kept up greens and trash-free grass. We just try not to think about all the dead bodies underneath ;) 

• Headstones make good reading material. This might sound morbid - but dead people are cool. It's cool to check out the headstones and see who is buried there. It's fascinating to read the names, compare stones, and guess relations, to look at the birth and death dates and think about the life that happened between. To look at the memorials and the messages that have been aged and worn by time and weather and think about the love that inspired them. To think about remembrance - the one thing we all want when we pass on - and try to give the dead the remembrance they and their families wanted. You can't be bored at a cemetery, there is too much scope for the imagination.

I'm telling you, graveyards are where it's at! If you don't believe me - good, keep using the park...